26 Letters in the Alphabet, 30 Letters in my Heart
by michaelkun
Summary: After an accident and some drugs, Stan Marsh finds himself in a mental hospital. His doctors give him a letter writing challenge for therapy   *Stenny, kenric, style is included...     rated T for drugs, fire, and sex. Put in drama for past events
1. Best Friend

_Day __1__-__A__ letter __to __your __best __friend  
><em>  
>Dear Kyle,<br>The therapist told me about this "30 day letter writing challenge" and they told me it could help. I have nothing better to do, so maybe it really can. Today's topic is to write to my best friend. I chose you.  
>Do you remember me? It's been almost a year since I've been locked away in this hospital. I've had numerous x-rays and different medications to help me with the drug loss to my body. I miss the outside world though. I miss when the four of us would hang around; just take away all the fucking heroin and it'd be perfect.<br>How's Kenny? Is he okay? I miss him oh so very much...I-I still...love him. All the doctors tell me I need to let go, but I can't. I don't care how badly he hurt me - forgive and forget. Is he doing okay after Eric's accident? It's been over a year since it. I hope Kenny was able to move on. he deserves the best the world can offer.  
>They educate me here, did you know? I've learned more vocabulary, and I'm attempting to write a book. I think I've reached page 39 or something. Just a start, and I'm taking a break for this letter thing. It's about a swimmer who drowns and the entire story is set underwater in a new world. Like a Heaven, since the person does in fact die. (sorry for the spoiler!) It's meant to be like a "coming to life" kind of theme. I like it so far. It's fun to write. I even included a fish-like zebrinny.<br>This letter so far is cool too. It's like I'm talking to you, even though you never visit. You can, you know that, right? You and Kenny should come by, to see my progression. I don't feel like I've gotten very far, but they always encourage my family and stuff to come by to see me, for my quick progress.  
>The main point of this letter challenge, they tell me, is to be able to say whatever I want to you without you seeing. Well, I guess I'll say that I hope you're well (even thought I want you to know). I hope you got into that pretty university you've dreamed up since we were 11. If you did, I bet you'd be top student.<br>If I could tell you one thing about myself? I'm still not okay.  
>But they tell me I'm getting better.<p>

~Stanley

P.S. I thought of something to say that I don't want you to know. I know you liked me. But I still love Ken. I'm sorry...but when we were little, I did like you. I did...

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><p><strong>AN: Hello ^_^ I'm stuck on JAR so I decided to give this a try. All that chapters will be this short, fair warning. Also, happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate :) I'd like reviews, if you don't mind :3 **


	2. Crush

_Day 2 - A letter to your crush_

Dear Kenny,

Hey man. I'm doing a letter writing challenge and now it's your turn. Today I have to write to my crush. Congrats, it's you.

It's been over a year since that accident. Are you doing okay? It was so hard on you...well, on everyone, but especially you. Even after I found out about you and Eric. I still can't believe you could do that to me - after everything we had. Did I mean anything to you? You called me your everything...even while you were sleeping with him. Do you know how it made me feel? I felt worthless. And then you wondered why I turned to the drugs. When I was high, I felt so much better. I felt like I was flying away from every issue. There wasn't a problem in the world, and I was...happy. All of us were. But when you found out about my issue...everything ended.

If you had just told me to stop instead of yelling at me and hurting my face...I wouldn't still be in here.

The doctors were able to use science to make new skin for the burns. They cared for little cells by feeling them and then they grew into skin. It worked really well; I don't look as deformed. When they brought the stuff it was one of the best days of my life. I looked normal, like nothing had ever happened.  
>When I'm sad or anything, I curl up and pretend the past isn't real. It's so much fun, to listen to Xero and pretend. Have you heard of them? They're not around anymore, they've evolved. The doctors say I'm evolving too, which is fun, since I'm like my favorite band. Except for the fact that I'm not world famous.<p>

I heard you were sent to jail because of attempted murder. They said you were released half a year ago, which is awesome! I know you didn't try to kill me; I had it coming. I was doing so many drugs, plus with the stress from Eric, you couldn't hold back. You were angry. You did get it out of your system, though. And from what I've heard, you're now okay. It makes me smile.

I'm on page 48 of the book I'm writing. It's mainly to keep myself occupied while I'm here, recovering. By now, the main character met the princess of the underwater and she has a pet kiwi. A kiwi is a bird, I learned. And I made it quack. Needless to say, this book is fantasy.

Well, now I wanna say something to you. (not like I haven't been doing that, but whatever) I miss you. I don't care what you did with Eric anymore. They got me off the drugs, so now all I need to do is still recover from the burns and let my mind sort itself out. They tell me I'm becoming more "zoetic", but I don't see it yet.

I'm far from okay, but with you in mind I know I can recover.

~Stanley

P.S. I said this in a letter to Kyle, but you two should visit. It'd be so much fun...


	3. Parents

_Day 3 - A letter to your parents_

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hi you guys. I overheard the doctors telling you two about this project via telephone, so I don't have to explain what I'm doing, thankfully.

I actually took a day off from the letter writing game to work more on my book. Did they tell you about that? I don't know what you know and don't. I'm on page 70. So far, this teenager drowned during a swimming practice and is now in an underwater Heaven world called Queteiopia (kay-tay-o-pia). When he drowned, his appearance changed a lot, too. He went from skinny and dorky to skinny and attractive. His hair is longish and black, and he had chocolate brown eyes. There he met a zebrinny named Georg and the princess of the sea. The princess has a pet kiwi (not the fruit, you silly people), and they're secretly crushing on each other, but no one knows. Not even them! The most recent event was having a peasant befriend the kid who drowned (his name is Gerard (the kid)). Even though Amy (the princess) doesn't like peasants. But this peasant (I named him Joe) is really super nice and eventually Amy will like him. Then I stopped before a xylophone concert, since the xylophone is the national instrument. They find it peaceful and calming, which is why they like it.

Did you two miss me on my birthday? I sure as hell missed you guys. It's not fun turning 23 without your parents nearby. They told me you two would visit, but I waited all day without seeing anyone. The only people I saw were all my doctor friends, and they were all super loving to me. I even got some cake. But I really wanted some visitors on that day of all days.

Have you talked to the guys? How are they doing? I heard Butters is finally out of his house and in a community college. I started jumping up and down at the news. All my life I've felt bad for him, and now he's free. He deserves it. I hope he also found someone. He and another sheltered girl would make a perfect couple.

I miss your visits. Why don't you guys visit me anymore? My most recent visitor was Shelley, and that was what, a week ago? I'm lonely here; all I have is my roommate, and he's leaving soon. Once he's gone, I'll probably get a new guy, but who knows how that'll go? What if he's _really_insane and tries to hurt me?

I'm scared now...I think I'll go back to Queteiopia for that concert.

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hey guys C: I finally figured out formatting :D**

**For Stan's story, it's not a fan fic. They're original characters he created, but he named them after musicians x)  
>Please review! :)<br>**


	4. Sibling

_Day 4 - A letter to a sibling_

Dear Shelley,

Hey sis! I get to write a letter to a sibling today, and since you're the only one, I get to talk to you.

You're still my most recent visitor. No one has visited, which doesn't help my progression, apparently. The doctors say if I don't get guests it won't help. Maybe you can talk to people to come by, for at least like an hour or so. Your visit was really helpful, especially since you didn't call me any names like when we were kids. You were so caring and I think you actually cared about me being unstable. I saw sadness in your eyes, one I at least thought was for me.

When you came by you said that Kenny and Kyle are closer. I was relieved when you said they were just best friends, nothing more. I want Kenny back; I told you to tell him I still loved him. Did you remember to say it to him? I bet he won't care, though. He loved Eric. I bet he still does, after all this time. Who wouldn't? Who could possibly move on from someone like Eric? And who could want an ex druggie like me?

How's your family? When you came by I was happy to see Larry. He's so sweet to you; you two are the perfect couple. Both of you have been precious ever since you two were 12. And when he saved your life the night you went to see Wicked...that's just like a fairy tale. And then your kid is adorable too, little Quincey. He's growing so fast, it's unbelievable. Isn't he six now? That's first grade. I bet he loves learning almost as much as I do. They teach me new vocabulary in here. I learned yesterday that "zas" is slang for pizza. Isn't that interesting?

I'm writing a book, as I told you I was planning. I'm only on page 80, but ten pages in a day, they tell me, is impressive. Since page 70, Gerard and Joe have become closer. They went to the xylophone concert together, and they saw Amy perform as a part of it. That's when Gerard noticed he had feelings for her. Then, Joe introduced him to someone I named Charles. Charles is another peasant with long xanthous hair (that means yellow, by the way). Now, the three of them are out and about, trying to find food. Hopefully some zas.

Well, I better go. Tell Quincey his uncle says 'hi'. 

~Stanley 

P.S. This may seem random and stuff, but I wanna tell you how much you mean to me. You're one of the only people to come and visit, and it means a lot. Thank you. Love you sis. 


	5. Dreams

Dear... dreams, 

How the hell do I write to my dreams? Do I personify you? Or do I just talk to myself? ... I think I'll just say what you are and what I want you to do, is that okay? I hope so... this part of the challenge has confused me since day 1. 

So dream #1 - You come most nights in my subconscious. It's the night of Eric's accident. It's the ringing of the phone call from Kenny, telling you what happened. His voice barely made sense of speaking, but he spit out the words. "He died." The cold that ran through my hand made me drop the phone with pure shock. The haunting part of the dream is how his voice echoes in your ears, consistently getting louder and louder. 

What I want you to do? Stop. Please, I can't have that dream tormenting me at night anymore. It makes me wake up in a cold sweat, and it's never comfortable for my roommate, who turned out a lot more insane than what I had expected. 

Dream #2? Another dream that used to come zero times, but then came once, then twice, then I lost count. The night Kenny burned me. It's also the night before I came to the hospital. I was home, high as fuck, when Kenny burst through the door. He reeked faintly of alcohol, but when he saw me tripping on the couch, he... snapped. He simply snapped. With his gloved hand, he yanked me off the couch and over to my stove. While shoving my face into the open gate thingie, he started the fire. The orange/blue fire shot out, engulfing me. It was quite petrifying, feeling my skin peel away. Tears were evaporated away, becoming xerotic in milliseconds. Before I knew anything, I blacked out. I woke up again in the hospital, fading in and out of consciousness. It was awful... and the heat still haunts me every now and again in my dreams. 

Same wish for you dream #2. Just stop! I can't take feeling that burning heat anymore...it's too much. It's just reliving the past, and I don't wanna do that anymore. That's what I'm trying to stop doing, and you don't help. I'd give anything for this dream to stop. 

Now for dream #3. This is probably the type of dream this project is looking for. I want Kenny. I want to erase the past and hold him close again. I want him to visit me here, so I can show him my book. (page 84 so far! Amy has noticed Gerard, but hasn't done much yet...) I want to hear from him and see how he's doing; if he was able to move on from Eric. Even if he wasn't, I want to apologize. I know his family had rough times with drugs, and seeing it after he left was a lot. I didn't know that then. All I knew was that they made me feel amazing, and I let that get in between me and the love of my life.

I can't believe it...

I think I felt something.

I believe I've finally cracked through what was bothering me.

Maybe - just maybe - I'll start making even better progression here.

Thank you, dreams. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hey :3 Sorry if my formatting is all weird, still learning :S Please review!**


	6. Stranger

_Day 6 - A letter to a stranger_

Dear stranger, 

Hello. I am doing a 30 day letter writing challenge and today I write to a stranger. Congratulations! It's your turn. Do you mind of I call you Charles? That'd be a lot easier; as if I knew you for a lifetime instead of not at all. 

How are you? I bet your doing better than me. You're probably not stuck in an insane asylum, wasting your time away with writing letters or books. Unless you're a writer. In that case, I wish you the best of luck with your work. 

I should introduce myself. My name is Stanley Marsh. I'm 23 years old and have been in this hospital for just over a year. The love of my life destroyed me after the death of the love of _his_ life. My love is named Kenny; his love was named Eric. Eric passed away from an accident, and Kenny was devastated. From seeing him in pain, it brought me pain. So, I slipped more, sending my small drug addiction to new heights. Then one night, as I was sitting on my couch high as hell, Kenny came over, and seeing me made him snap. He pulled me over to my gas stove and burned my face. I still look deformed, but due to science, the doctors were able to make new skin for me. I think that was awesome of them to do that for me. 

I didn't find out about Eric and Kenny until the funeral, though. That's when Kyle, my best friend, told me everything. Why Kenny was taking the death so super hard. Sure, the four of had been friends since the third grade, but it was harder on him since he was deeply in love with him. I was heartbroken too, but Kenny never found out. He still doesn't know I know. Unless Kyle told him since I've been locked away. 

Anyways, I feel like you're probably bored hearing of the atrocious times of my life. (I'm learning new vocabulary for the book I'm writing). I'm writing a coming to life novel while I'm in here, along with this challenge. It's about this shrimpy teenager named Gerard who drowns one day during a swim practice. He ends up in this underwater Heaven place called Queteiopia. Once he gets there, he notices he can breathe and stuff, so he can interact with the others. He meets a zebrinny (that's a cross between a zebra and horse) named Georg and he even runs into the princess, Amy. Amy and Gerard are friendly, but nothing really sparks. Later on, though, at a xylophone concert (the xylophone is the national instrument because of how peaceful it is), Amy performs and Gerard notices her beauty and talent, and starts crushing on her. After, Gerard, Georg, and this peasant named Joe (Amy doesn't like Joe, by the way) go to find food and Gerard can't stop thinking of Amy. Meanwhile, Amy sees Gerard in the pizza place and notices his good looks. She's mesmerized by him, and she can't stop thinking of how nice he could be. 

All of that is much more elaborated in my book, which is almost 95 pages long. I'm pretty proud of it; if I got visitors here, I'd love to show them. But, alas, I have none. The most recent was my sister, and that was almost two weeks ago. Before then, it was months. 

I'd like to see Kenny and Kyle again. 

And definitely Eric 

Thanks for listening, Charles.

~Stanley


	7. Ex girlfriend

_Day 7 - A letter to an ex boyfriend/girlfriend_

Dear Wendy, 

Hello. Wow, it's been years since we've talked, hasn't it? You stopped talking to me quickly after you found out how much I liked Kenny. To be fair, I don't blame you. It's alright. I wouldn't've been too happy with myself either. 

How've you been? I bet you're doing well; at least better than me. I think everyone I know at this point is better than me, even Eric. I remember seeing you at the funeral. You wore a beautiful purple dress and your hair was sloe black, running down your entire back. You were stunning - but I knew you wouldn't want to talk to me, since you also knew about Kenny and Eric, I later found out. I still can't believe how long they were together for. Did you know for the full two years as well? Or were you one of the ones that didn't find out until near the middle? The end? 

I bet you heard about what Kenny did to me, so I don't need to explain. I still have scars, but they're fading out with every passing minute. There's only one main one, and it's shaped like a pentagon. It's slightly xanthic; like a yellow ring around all five sides. It's actually pretty awesome; I'm glad it hasn't faded. It's almost like a tattoo, except it's not made with ink and was made with flame instead. 

I'm writing a book. It's about a kid who drowned and is now falling in love with the princess of an underwater world. He has a peasant friend named Joe and a pet zebrinny he recently adopted for his own. His name's Georg. Gerard is the name of the kid who drowned, and he's still dealing with a lot of the pain and stuff from his Earth life. When he was on Earth, he was bullied constantly and he had zero self esteem. He has very low self confidence, and he just wanted to die. Plus his home was a nightmare, so he was trapped with the scary, suicidal thoughts teenagers can get. He didn't plan on dying, though. That was a pure accident. But this world is starting to help him change his mentality. The dark, evil thoughts are slowly dissipating into the water that surrounds him. 

I think I'm 99 pages in so far. Only a few more words until 100! I've been working on this for 3 weeks now. It's what the doctors tell me to do with my time, since all we're waiting for is for me to shake the past. Do you know how hard it is? To fall in love with someone and have them turn on you? Wait- I did that to you. Oh gosh, Wendy, is this what it felt like for you? Oh my God...I'm so sorry. I know, I already apologized, but I didn't know what you felt. I only knew what I felt, and that was dedicated to Kenny. If only I had known the pain of heartbreak...there's no way I would've left you the way I did. (I still would have over time, I'm sorry to say, but I wouldn't have done it as harshly as I did) 

Maybe this is the karma for doing this to you. 

Oh god... 

~Stanley 


	8. Internet friend

_Day 8 - A letter to your favorite Internet friend  
><em>  
>Dear Mystery, <p>

Hey girl! Long time no talk... I wish they would let me go online here. They won't let me contact the outside world unless they come in person. And since you're being all epic in Tokyo...well, we both know that can't happen. 

How've you been? I haven't talked to you since the night before my accident. You never heard of it - you probably think I just stopped talking to you. Or that the drugs finally killed me. Dear god... I pray that someone told you... 

But the accident, in case you haven't found out. You know that Eric died and that Kenny cheated on me. You know that I did drugs and never told Kenny. Well, from the mix of losing his lover and seeing me with a bong one night, he went more or less completely insane. He tried to burn my face off and was sent to prison for attempted murder. I was sent to a mental hospital for rehabilitation. That's why I haven't talked to you. I'm still so sorry. 

Have I ever told you how much I love your name? You must have like the sweetest parents to name you something like Mystery. I wish my parents named me something cooler than "Stanley". But hey - in the book I'm writing, I get to name them whatever I want. I named the main character "Gerard" and his love interest "Amy" (she's the princess of the underwater world (Queteiopia) he's in). Then, Gerard has friends named Georg (he's a zebrinny) Joe (a peasant) and Charles (another peasant). I finally hit 100 pages in my book, of which everyone here was very proud of me. They even through a miniature party to celebrate the milestone. As I passed the 100th page, in the book, Amy had Gerard over to her palace to play him a personal song on her xylophone. It had no title, but it had secretive love messages woven inside. Gerard though it was beyond adorable, and that's when he knew he loved her. They even almost kissed! But then the king walked in and ruined their moment. I'm now at page 104, right before a big event. 

How are your friends? How's that Chi kid treating you? Is he still bothering you? I really hope not - that day you said that he punched your mouth and knocked out a tooth was the day I wanted to walk to his apartment and knock the shit out of him. I was even prepared to swim across the Pacific. You're too good to be hanging around kids like him. Why do you? I pray that you two have either settled things out or that you've taken different paths on that forked road. 

I'm gonna ask if I can actually send this letter. I miss you a lot and I really want to talk to you again. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could even visit? It'd be a dream come true. 

You're my best friend. 

Besides Kyle, of course. 

~Stanley.

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><p><strong>AN: Happy one week with this story C: I hope you guys are liking it so far. Reviews are lovely :3**


	9. Someone to Meet

_Day 9 - A letter to someone you want to meet  
><em>  
>Dear God, <p>

Hello there. Well, hum. I've never imagine that I would ever talk to you, so this seems weird. It's like talking to a cloud, which is where you are now. 

There are a million questions I could ask. What do you look like? Do you really wear the white robe and have white hair? Or are you more laid back, and wear comfortable clothes? I bet you'd rock a teenager look, like with skinny jeans and some tee shirt. That'd be really neat, to see my creator in that kind of outfit. Maybe when I meet you we can find something nice for you to wear. 

What's Heaven like? I always imagined Heaven as a white fluffy place filled with the spirits of my loved ones all with me. We could do whatever, since there wasn't a care in the world. But then...I met Kenny, and when we would be together, it was better than Heaven. It was paradise. I have never been happier than lying in his arms, feeling his chest move up and down with each breath. Then the accident happened, in which you took away Eric, bringing him either to Heaven or Hell. Why God? Was it because I did drugs? Was it because you knew Kenny was cheating on me, and wanted to punish him? Was it simply just his time to go? There's another question for you, when I meet you. 

Have you been watching over me, looking at the process of my book? I'm still so ecstatic over this, like I was just starting to create the characters. I've just reached page 124, and things have gotten really bad. Amy had an accident in which she broke her leg, and now she's stuck in the hospital. She needed x-rays (the break is actually in the form of a zigzag) and now her legs all wrapped up and she's in a lot of pain. Gerard can't go see her either, since a strange man named Kenji took and hid him. He's now in a cold, dark place with Georg and Joe and Charles, and they need to escape to find Amy, since no one knows how she's going except her family and stuff. 

Oh, I forgot to say. Thank you for answering my prayers! I can never thank you enough! Not only was I actually able to send my letter to Mystery, but Wendy actually came and visited me! She came by earlier today for an hour or so and she caught me up on everything. She wore a pink and purple striped long sleever and jeans with a black skirt. Her hair was tied in two long pigtails, more sophisticated than a six year old would wear. She spoke of how much everyone missed me and wanted me to get better. She even told me of how Kenny missed me so. She said he may miss me even more than Eric at this point. My heart fluttered with delight at the news. I still miss and love him so much. She said my family missed me and everyone from high school asked how I was doing too. The news that was most groundbreaking though was how she spoke of Kyle. She said that he wasn't doing to well, and that he seemed to be really depressed. From there, she needed to leave, and left me wondering. 

What's going on God? What's wrong with Kyle? 

I've asked for so much, and received so much. 

But please, just one more wish. 

Let Kyle be okay. 

Thanks for listening to me, God. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hello :) Just wanted to say I'm not 100% sure on Stan's religion, but I remember him in a church a few times so I just let this stick :) Please review :)**


	10. Long Time No Talk

_Day 10 - Someone you barely talk to_

Dear Butters, 

Hi man! Long time no talk! You've probably heard of me in here, so no news there. 

How are you? Did you graduate yet? I love the school you got into. I wanted to go there, but timing didn't work. When I get out of here, maybe I'll be able to apply. Will you tell me what it's like? 

Did you ever find anyone? I bet you did. Girl or guy, I'd be thrilled. You deserve someone more than anyone I know. With your childhood and teenage years being what they were, you are the most deserving person that comes to mind. 

Remember our childhood? Fourth grade. Remember when we had you dress up to get into the girls slumber party? Remember when we blamed you for killing Sarah Jessica Parker? Okay, those particular memories probably suck for you, but why I'm telling them is for a different reason. Spending time in here gave me all the time in the world to think. I thought of Eric, and how his life ended oh so tragically. I thought of Kyle, and how he was doing without me by his side. I thought of Kenny, and how he managed prison and what he's doing now. But you and our years floated by as often as they did. We treated you like such shit; I can't believe you actually made it out alive, quite honestly. I can never apologize enough for hurting you like we did. It makes me feel like a shitty human being to know that I tortured someone at some point. Okay, yes I tortured Kenny, but we never said I was an angel. In fact, I still feel like the furthest thing from. 

Didja know I'm writing a book? I'm so so pumped for coming up to its 130th page. Recently, the princess of the underwater world (Amy) broke her leg. She needed another few x-rays; her leg is in really bad condition. And her love interest (Gerard) is trapped with his new friends in a mystery basement. They need to get out so Gerard can ensure the safety of his love. They've searched every inch of the dark, wet basement and couldn't find anything. The only thing they found was a small window thirteen feet above Gerard's head (he's the tallest). They had zero hope of getting out alive to see Amy, so Gerard started thinking of worse case scenario. I ended with having Amy's pet kiwi (it's a bird) tapping on the window, trying to get their attention. She (the bird's name is Lacey) knows more trouble is coming for Amy, and she needs to notify Amy's new group of friends. 

I'd totally make this a longer letter, but I was just told I have a visitor! I've only had Wendy and Shelley in the past month, so this is really exciting! 

I wonder who it could be... 

~Stanley


	11. Deceased

_Day 11 - A letter to someone who has passed away_

Dear Eric, 

H-hi there. I've never written to anyone from the dead before. This is...frightening to say the least. It's almost like my letter to God, except technically, he's not dead. You, on the other hand. You're gone. 

Well, in every other letter I've asked "how are you?" But, well, you're kind of just stuck in the ground. How well can you potentially be six feet under? I saw your coffin, though. You have a really soft one, so it must be comfortable. I want my coffin to be like yours. Black outside with ruby red velvet on the inside. It'd be pretty against pale white skin. 

After you died, Kenny busted me for my drug use. He burned my face off, practically. I was saved, but now I'm left with scars on my face and psychological problems. I've been in a mental institute for over a year now, trying to get better. They say I'm gonna stay here until I get over Kenny, since I still love him. But I can't see that happening. Sure, Kenny tried to kill me. Sure, Kenny cheated on me. Sure, he still loves you and never wants me again. But...forgive and forget, right? 

I've been getting more visitors recently. A few weeks ago, it was my sister and her small family that came by. Then a few days ago, Wendy came by. Remember her? She looked really pretty and healthy. The opposite of me. But then, yesterday I had to write a letter to Butters, and as I was writing, he came by! I even cut my letter short so I could rush and see him. His blonde hair is still short and he still has a baby blue jacket. He didn't fidget as much as he used to, which I was happy for. And guess who he was with? His boyfriend! He got a boyfriend in the school he's in! His name is Jeremy. Butters told me that Jeremy had a similar childhood as he did, so they were able to connect over they experiences. Isn't that great? He was in such a need of a partner. 

Kenny was devastated when you left us from that car accident. He cried for weeks on end, and even started drinking more. I was hurt by your loss too, and when Kyle told me of you two, it made me turn to the drugs more. Then Kenny found me, high as hell, and that's when he hurt me. He was sent to prison for attempted murder. By now, he's out, but I haven't seen him since that night. I want him to visit - him and Kyle. I'd include you too, but, y'know. 

They educate me behind these walls. I've been writing a book. It's about a teenager who drowned and now is in an underwater Heaven. His princess love (Amy) has a broken leg (with a zigzag crack in the bone) and Gerard (the kid who drowned) needs to find her to keep her safe. But some guy locked him and his friends up, and they need to get out. Amy's pet kiwi (bird), Lacey, is now at the window, trying to get the guys' attention. Georg (the zebrinny) was the one to notice the tapping coming from the window. Charles (a peasant) got on all fours, then Joe (another peasant) got on him, then Georg then Gerard reached the window. Lacey had a friend - Terry (a new character who's a talking quail) - that ran off to find a rope ladder for the ones in the basement. Right as Terry got back, though, the person who trapped the four in the dark underground came back, holding an axe. Besides that, though, Amy's been working on a new song for her xylophone. When she was practicing it in the hospital, a shadow of a person appeared in the doorway, and she nearly had a heart attack when she saw who it was. That's where I left off. It's on page 141 now. I want to see if I can publish it when I get out of here. 

If I can, I'll dedicate it to you. 

Since if it wasn't for you passing, I wouldn't be able to write it. 

Thanks, man. 

I hope the afterlife is fun. 

~Stanley 


	12. Someone with Pain

_Day 12 - A letter to someone that cause lots of pain_

Dear Kenny, 

So, I get to talk to you again. This is great and awful simultaneously. 

The doctors said that I really shouldn't focus on you anymore. It makes me really sad to know that I may have to let you go. But...I still love you. And I don't know if I can really change that. Yeah, you basically ruined my life, but I'm still alive, right? 

For this letter, they actually gave me more of a guideline. Then they said I can write about whatever comes to mind. They want me to talk/vent about the psychological pain you gave and the physical pain. I'll start with physical. 

The night you burned my face. I was just sitting on the couch - minding my own business. Yeah, I was under the influence, but 1. I wasn't out driving and 2. No one was being injured. Well...except for you and me. You came over and saw me with the bong, and you snapped. My pitch black hair was tangled between your fingers as you picked me up and brought me over to the first weapon you saw - my stove. The little grate thing over the flame was lifted off in an instant and my face replaced it. My head spun far too fast to even know my own name much less understand that I was about to be hurt. Then - the heat. The flame swallowed my face, letting my skin melt off. It torched my nerves, making me aware of what was going on. I honestly felt my skin falling off and the blood rushing out before you released your grasp, letting me fall to the cold floor. 

The scars are still there. They've faded dramatically in the past week or so since I last wrote to you. But that could barely compare to the emotional scars I still have engraved in my brain. 

You cheated on me. You said you loved me while you were fucking Eric. You said you'd never leave me while you two were getting sundaes or going to parks hand in hand. You told me I was your only one while the same words were repeated to him. Did you even think of me during those times? Or was I just forgotten old Stan Marsh - kid that I grew up with. I- Who in their right mind could even consider a choice like that? To ditch a great relationship for another. Between that and the burn night and the words I heard you whisper... I will never be the same again. 

Do I want to be the same? Yeah. I want to be the scar free kid who hung out with his four best friends. I want to go back before I even started doing drugs. But I want the Kenny I loved back. Not the one who claimed not to love me... 

Well, I think I'm finally starting to figure myself out. I don't know how to feel about you, Ken. Maybe I can move on indeed, no matter how much I want you back. 

Can we stop talking about this? This is starting to bother my mind too much - can I talk about my book? Remember? Recently, Lacey the kiwi got Terry the quail back to get a rope ladder, but the mystery man who trapped the guys there is back with an axe. The man was revealed to be one named Kenji - a Japanese man who has some mental disorder. He smiled at the four trembling friends and swung his axe up as all of them flinched. Instead, he threw the axe to the floor. Gerard, Georg, Joe and Charles were all deathly confused before Kenji explained. "Decide who's gonna die. Then I'll let the rest free." He left without another word, letting the blood of the human, the peasants and the zebrinny run cold. Meanwhile, Amy's practicing her xylophone in the hospital when the shadow of someone appeared. She smiled with relief as it was just her sister, Sophie. They embraced in a hug, since she hadn't seen her sister for years. She had moved away years prior, for her career. They had finally reunited, making the zigzag in Amy's leg fuse back together using love. 

Okay, that was a cheesy way to have her leg be at least half healed. But then again, they're in Queteiopia, and anything can happen there. 

Sometimes, I wish I could take you there to escape our problems. 

But then again... my mind also wanders to someone else. 

Till next time~ 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Sophie isn't a musician...instead she's a huge Evanescence fan and I wanted to include her for her birthday C: happy 15th! Please review!**


	13. Please Forgive Me

_Day 13 - A letter to someone you hope can forgive you_

Dear Kyle, 

Please forgive me. 

I can't believe how blind I was. 

You visited me today. You. Kyle Broflovski. You showed up today to see me. It was the first time I had seen you since before the accident. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you. You looked...depressed but beautiful. Under your eyes were pitch black circles from endless sleepless nights. Your typical shining green eyes held a dull glaze, but still had that tint of hope stored away. You ditched your hat today to show your poofy red hair that had calmed down drastically since childhood. A black hoodie replaced your green jacket and a pair of jeans completed your outfit. 

Honestly, Kyle, you looked amazing. 

We started with typically "hello's" and such, doing the usual "see someone you know" routine. I probably seemed like an idiot, just staring at you, but that was me taking in your details. 

You told me about Kenny. You told me how Kenny did once he left prison. Kenny's doing awful. He lives alone in the bad part of a large city to escape from everything. The only person he contacts is you, asking of me. He loves me. He regrets every scar; he regrets every wound. He was suicidal for a while, not wanting to live without me. He wants to come out and visit me, but he's afraid of my reaction. He's afraid that I want to maim him, or to kill him. So, he's away, repressing his anger with alcohol. 

When you told me, I wanted to burst out crying, but the doctors say when that happens the visitor needs to leave. And the last thing I wanted was for you to leave. But the words you spoke were at least enough to brim my eyes with tears. I went on to tell you how much I wanted to see him too. How much I still love him. How much I want him back. I remember the exact words you said; they hold such an impact on me. 

"Look Stan, I want what's best for you. You've been in here for what? A year and a month? Just about? For anyone else, you'd be home by now. You'd be sleeping in your own bed, eating your own food, living your own life. But because of Kenny you're still here, dealing with the load he gave you. He cheated on you, he lied to you, fuck - he tried to kill you. Don't deny it. Look, I'm not trying to make you feel like shit, I'm just saying - why would you even want to go back to someone who you like that? The one who sent your self esteem down to a striking zero and hasn't even tried to patch things up? How aren't you angry? How could you still love him?" 

After your speech, you left without another word. These words have been swimming in my brain. Sometimes quickly, sometimes stretched out, sometimes just as you spoke them. After yesterday's letter and now your speech, I now question myself. 

How do I still love Kenny? 

I think I'm gonna listen to Xero now to try and think this stuff though... 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hey - sorry for no sub story today ;_; I didn't feel like it really went with how serious this chapter was, so I'll be sure to include more tomorrow :3 Review?**


	14. Drift Away

_Day 14 - A letter to someone you've drifted away from_

Dear Clyde, 

Hey! Today's the day I get to write to someone who I've drifted away from. I've already written to Butters, so I decided to choose you! 

Everyone knows by now about me and how I'm doing thanks to Kyle, so I don't need to go into detail there. I'm glad too. After yesterday and hearing from Kyle, I don't really want to think of the past. Okay, that's not the complete truth. I do wanna reminisce of our memories, since they were happy. Remember when you got that money from your grandma and you let us use it for that street mariachi band? That was so awesome! Except when it completely backfired and you lost your money... 

Okay, bad idea to talk of the past. 

I'm writing a book. I started it about three weeks ago, and I'm already 162 pages in! I have a lot of free time on my hands. It starts off with teenager Gerard drowning and ending up in an underwater world Queteiopia. There he encounters the princess, Amy, and they slowly start liking each other. Also, he meets these peasants named Joe and Charles, and he befriends them. The only problem there is that Amy doesn't like them since they're poor, but she gets over it fairly quickly. Gerard also meets a zebrinny named Georg, so it's the four of them living in this world. Time goes on with xylophone concerts (it's the national instrument) and more falling in love. 

When Amy realizes she really likes Gerard and vise versa, she accidentally breaks her leg in a zigzag formation. When Gerard heard the news, he did everything he could to get to the hospital to comfort her. But as he and his posse went off, a mystery man captured them! They were sent to a dark, damp basement far away from the hospital. They search high and low for a way to get out, but the only way out is up and through a very minute window. No one can reach it, so they just wait and hope someone will wonder where they are. 

As they're locked away though, and as Amy practices a song she wrote for Gerard, a shadow appears in her doorway, and she gasps. She's relieved when it's just her sister, Sophie, since they hadn't seen each other in ever. The love Sophie radiated even healed half the crack in her bone. 

Meanwhile, Gerard and his group hear a faint tapping sound, coming from the window. It's Amy's pet kiwi (bird!) Lacey. She was wondering where they had gone and decided to look around. She then called to Terry the quail, who brought a rope ladder to save the four. Right before he dropped the string, though, the mystery man came back! With an axe! He revealed himself to be a man named Kenji, and instead of killing any of them, he let them decide who would die. Only one had to and then he'd set the rest free. They spend a solid day deciding who would be their sacrifice. They didn't dare try to escape at this point, in case of the possibility of them all dying. In the end, and after many debates the human sacrifice ended up being... 

Gerard. 

He let his friends behead him for the safety of Amy. 

Kenji let his friends go and tell the heartbreaking news to Amy while he took care of Gerard's body. When Amy hears the news, her leg breaks even more, sending the zig zag down even further, practically splitting her leg apart. She didn't notice it though until someone told her. Her heart hurt far worse. 

That's where I left off. Thanks for letting me talk out my book, man. I've been thinking too much about Kyle and Kenny and it felt great to escape to their city for a few minutes. 

You're the best listener ever. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry if you were hoping for more Kyle/Kenny drama, but I did want to catch you up on his book and stuff, so I hope you at least enjoyed the suspense and stuff in that :) Please review :3**


	15. I Miss You

_Day 15 - A letter to someone you miss_

Dear Kyle and Kenny, 

The doctors don't like that I'm writing to both of you. But hey - I miss both of you to death. What can they do about that? 

Kenny. Kyle told me about you in the city, wasting your life away. God, when he told me it crushed my heart. Like a chainsaw was just shredding my heart, spewing blood and tissue all over my insides. Sorry for the visual... 

But think of it - you're so sad and depressed and I just want to see you to assure you everything will be okay. I want to hold you and remind you that I'm still alive. That's all I want. From you at least. I can't say the same for Kyle though. 

Kyle. You visited me a few days ago and you really opened my eyes. You told me to really think about my relationship with Kenny and ever since, it's the only thing that's been on my mind. You basically poured your heart out to me for the first time...ever really. I mean sure, you spilled everything when something went wrong in high school but this was new. It was a new heart spilling. Like a wound flooding your insides with blood. 

Sweet Jesus... I need to stop talking about blood and hearts and stuff. 

So, book. I'm still writing it. Page 174 and going strong. I had Gerard's group kill him for Amy, so they could get out and make sure she's okay. Amy's leg re-broke even further with the zigzag from hearing the news of Gerard. It destroyed her, and she doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. She doesn't even want to play xylophone anymore. 

Gerard, however, isn't dead. In fact, he's alive again. He woke up in a hospital, surrounded by his family. He asked in confusion what had happened. His brother, Mikey, explained how he had been in a coma after a swimming accident for a few weeks. Gerard was deathly lost, but instantly remembered Amy. His heart ached for her something bad, and he just wanted to make sure she was okay. That was all he cared about. He didn't even care about being alive again. 

His life is in Queteiopia. 

So, here we are. I really wish I could have more time for you two, but life sometimes gets in the way. I don't have that much of an excuse since I don't have work or anything, but please understand what I mean. Life gets hectic here, too. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Half way done! I hope you like it so far :) Please review :D**


	16. Canada

_Day 16 - A letter to someone not in the state/country_

Dear Terrance, 

Today I have to write to someone not in Colorado. And since you live in Canada, I thought you would be a perfect match. 

I would've written to you yesterday, but I kind of had a meltdown. I threw things, I punched my roommate; it was a nightmare. I regret very thing I did, and I told them that, but they still put me in watch overnight, not allowing me to write. 

Are you wondering why I broke down? I still am. They say it's the stress of Kyle and Kenny (two guys I like). I tried to deny it, but they weren't having it. Instead, I think they gave me a sedative and a pillow. I woke up the next morning calm and dazed, so they sent me back to the social world of this hospital. I'm in a mental hospital because of Kenny. I'm not allowed to say why anymore. The doctors tell me only to say that he hurt me physically and emotionally. I think it's an understatement. They don't care. 

Enough about me. What about you? I've looked up to you all my life. You and Phillip. You two were the biggest thing on Canadian TV when I was in fourth grade. In high school, when Phillip...y'know...I was just so devastated. He seemed so happy...so full of life. If you're famous, does the stress honestly get that bad? Enough to take that many pills? 

Ever since, we haven't heard much from you. It was all about him, never how you were dealing with it or how you were coping. Were you heartbroken? Was your heart in two, separated with a zigzagged line, like the girl's leg in my book? 

Yeah. I'm writing a book. Right now, it's in two different worlds. Earth and an underwater Heaven Queteiopia. This kid Gerard died swimming and was sent to Queteiopia as his afterlife. He met life changing friends and fell in love with their princess, Amy. Amy ended up breaking her leg and Gerard died to save her. Her leg had already healed a little from her sister, but when Gerard was pronounced dead, it broke even worse than before. But now, Gerard is back on Earth. 

When he died in Queteiopia, he woke up from a coma on Earth. Now, he's recovering still, still coming out of the daze of being asleep for so long. His primary though was "Was that real? Was that a dream?" His burning love for Amy suggested it was real. He requested for his brother to bring in a xylophone, so he could see if he could remember the song he wrote for her. Mikey, his brother, brought him the instrument, and watched Gerard hit each note. He was amazed at what his brother could play, and it even brought tears to his eyes. Gerard explained it was for his one true love, and when Mikey asked who, Gerard answered "My beautiful princess Amy". Mikey asked for a psych expert to come in and talk with Gerard, since he thought he was going insane. 

When I'm done with this book, would you like a copy? I certainly wouldn't mind; after all, you're still my hero. 

And Phillip too. 

You'll always be Terrance and Phillip to me 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hey, sorry for the lack of update yesterday D: I think it'll only happen once again...  
>And sorry for killing Phillip. I hope you didn't mind *too* much... Review?<strong>


	17. Childhood

_Day 17 - A letter to a childhood friend_

Dear Kyle, 

I'm happy I get to talk to you again. Now, the doctors encourage me to talk to people again, since they said I'm making super progress. I'm glad we met when we were kids so I can call you a childhood friend. It makes me all warm inside. 

How have things been since I last saw you? You came by yesterday again, which made me smile. It was the second time, and it makes a new record of who has visited me. You looked a little healthier, or at least like you got more sleep. You smiled more, since we got all the gritty details out of the way last time. We talked about your job and your new puppy, which you named after me. You told me he's a terrier mix, and he had a rough past. You saved him, like people here are saving me. You have no clue how I felt when you said he was named Stan. I felt like the most important person in the world. 

Ever since you talked to me about Kenny, I couldn't help but reevaluate our relationship. He really was that much of a dick. I just couldn't see it through all the love he gave me. When I was with him, I felt like a billion bucks. I felt safe with him, and when he left me, I still needed my security blanket. But your words helped me break through, and get rid of the tattered cloth. Thank you so much. 

When you showed up, we also talked of my book. You thought it was cute when Gerard called Amy his "beautiful princess". After that, the psych expert came in to talk to Gerard. Gerard told him all about Queteiopia, with the talking zebrinnies and the xylophone concerts. He told them of the deal he made and how he sacrificed his life for Amy. The psych dude asked Gerard if he remembers feeling pain or anything, at anytime. Gerard answered yes, when he learned Amy was hurt. The psych guy suggested that what he felt was just an extreme dream state. Meanwhile, in Queteiopia, Amy's still depressed in the hospital. Her entire family is with her, to try to get her to feel better. Her leg healed a little, maybe an eighth of the zigzag crack is healed. She knows though Gerard is the only one that can fix it. 

Listen, it's close to midnight and my roommate gets mad at me when I keep lights on past a certain hour. Thanks for understanding. I hope you come by soon again; you're so much fun to talk to. 

~Stanley


	18. Puppy Love

_Day 18 - A letter to someone you wish you could be_

Dear Sparky, 

Hey old boy! I know it may seem weird that I wish that I could be you, but let me explain. 

I wish I could be you because you're a dog. You're small and brown on four legs. You see the world from your short height and can only see the black and white. You don't get the details we humans get. All you see is us playing with you, feeding you, and yelling at you when you crap in the house. You don't feel love. Well, you could, but you don't have much of a thinking skill. You just live in the moment. Hell, if you were me, you wouldn't know what happened two weeks ago versus last year. 

I wish humans could be the same way. I'd be so happy. 

How've you been? You're old now, I bet you're all curled up sleeping somewhere. I bet you've forgotten about me too. But hey, what's to expect? You're a dog. I bet if you saw me again though you'd remember me. You'd remember my smell and voice, and everything would go back to normal. 

Hopefully, that'll be soon. 

Yeah, the doctors say I'll hopefully be able to go soon. Isn't that exciting! They say since I've finally let go of Kenny, I've made the biggest breakthrough. Now, they just want to make sure I can sort things out with Kyle. They trust him and all, but they don't want me getting hurt. Since I'm still recovering and all, they make sure of a lot of things here. 

So, I've been writing a book. Sure, you won't be able to understand what I'm about to say, but maybe Shelley will read the letter to you, and she can see. She knows about it already, so it works. 

Gerard finally left the hospital. He's back in high school and his friends all welcomed him back. He said it was good to be back, but each word was coated with venom. He wanted to be back in Queteiopia, with Georg and Charles and most importantly, Amy. He's still deathly in love with her, no matter how many awkward stares he gets when he speaks of her. Even his friend Frank agrees that he's gone insane when he speaks of Amy. Gerard doesn't care, though. He just wants Amy to be okay. 

In Queteiopia, Amy's been moved back home, but she's still injured. Everyone's been visiting her, including Georg, Joe and Charles. She's angry at them for letting Gerard die, but the zebrinny argues that he offered himself for her. She doesn't want to believe it, but her heart flutters at the thought of someone dying just for her and her alone. Her leg only hurts when she moves, so they just propped it up on pillows and don't move her. They just let her be cozy in bed, thinking of her lost love. And occasionally playing xylophone, but that's only if she's desperately bored at this point. 

I hope someone reads this to you. Mom, dad, or Shelley. Or maybe even Kyle, if he stops by. Did I tell you he visited again the other day? He even looked healthier. It was amazing. 

I can't believe how much I missed him. 

~Stanley 


	19. I Love You

_Day 19 - A letter to someone who pesters the mind_

Dear Kyle, 

Is this your third letter? You're a lucky man. I don't even think I've written to Kenny more than once. 

So, nothing much has changed in the past two days. Ha, I couldn't write that with a straight face. I tried, but I couldn't. 

Do you remember me talking about a girl named Mystery? The Japanese girl? I got to write a letter to her like a week and a half ago or so. I told her how much I wanted to meet her and how I would love to assure her I was okay. I even asked if they could actually send that letter (since these are the kind of letters you never send). The doctors let me, and guess who I met? 

I met Mystery today. 

She has ebony waist length hair and deep brown eyes that are captivating. She wore an old Xero tee shirt and black jeans with bright red Converse to match. She didn't wear that much makeup and she wore a few bracelets. 

She looked beautiful, like every picture I've ever seen of her. 

We embraced into a hug when we met. When we sat down, her eyes shone with tears. When I asked why, she answered "No one told me about your accident. I thought you were gone." I hugged her again after that, assuring her I was getting better. She asked about the hospital, and how my progress was since she last heard from the letter. I told her I was over Kenny; a fact that made her smile her perfect smile. She asked how he was, and I told her of his life, filled with sorrow and depression. In a way, she was happy. Like, that he was having karma bite him really hard. But then, there's the 'oh you poor thing' instinct girls come with. 

I told her of Kyle next. As I talked on and on about how he visited and how great he looked, her smile got wider and wider. After I was done, I asked her why she was smiling so much. She said, and I quote 

"You love him. You love him so much. The shine in your eyes and the happiness in your voice...I've never heard you this happy before." 

She teared up a little when she spoke, so I hugged her again to calm her down. I then moved on to catch her up on the book. It broke 200 pages today. I didn't think I had it in me to write this freakishly fast. 

Gerard hates his Earth life. He's back at square one, and he's partially suicidal. Sure, his friends are nicer to him than last time since they practically lost him. But he doesn't care. He fucking loves Amy. He doesn't care about his friends mocking him or his teachers being concerned. Most of them just think it's a side effect from his coma. Gerard didn't care, and endlessly practiced a xylophone in memory of his love. He constantly thinks of her, wishing he could be back with her. 

One night, he snuck out and headed to the same pool he drowned in. All he did was dangle his feet in the water, thinking of Amy. He had written a song that he wanted her to hear just minutes before. He thought of every reason to stay on Earth (which ended up being a grand total of zero) and drowned them with himself. 

He dazed awake underwater, surrounded by familiar landscapes and roads. Queteiopia. 

He ran to Amy's room at the speed of light, passing by Georg, Joe and Charles on the way. They all ran after him, amazed to see that he was back. They finally reached her home, and her parents let him in, relieved to see him. He cracked the door open to her room ever so slightly to see her fast asleep. He tiptoed in and slid under her covers, wrapping his arms around her ever so gently. She didn't wake; she just gripped onto him in her sleep, moving her body to be closer to him. She was even able to move her leg, since it healed in a millisecond. Both their hearts warmed, and both knew this was what was right. 

End chapter. 

So, that story is slowly drawing to a close. We have a little unfinished business with some characters and then it ends. I really hope you've liked the summaries I've given you. I really really hope to get this published too, one day. I hope you're doing well, like always 

And after remembering what Mystery told me about my relationship with you... 

I do. 

I really love you. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Hiii! I know I didn't focus too hard on the "pesters the mind" thing, but with previous chapters, it makes sense, right? But do you like the Style? And the Leeway? And Mystery? I love that girl ;) Please review!**


	20. Broken Heart

_Day 20 - A letter to someone who broke your heart_

Dear Kenny, 

Hello again. Third letter, eh? Well, as they say, third time's the charm. 

How's the city? Have you been mugged yet? I wouldn't be surprised if you were...from what Kyle said, you're in a real shitty neighborhood. But hey - things could get better. They sure have with me. 

I met that girl I was friends with online - Mystery. She flew all the way from Japan to visit me. She's even staying for two weeks (you don't fly across an ocean and not stay for a while). She's visited daily and each time it just gets better. The doctors have even noticed a difference in me. They say I'm more optimistic and generally brighter. It makes me smile to have them compliment me. I'm an attention whore according to Mystery. 

Mystery even got to meet Kyle. He's been visiting several times a week, and each time makes me even warmer. They hit it off quickly, and I'm glad I could have them meet. The three of us sit around for hours and just talk and laugh. As if we were in a coffee house instead of a mental hospital. The way they smile when I smile after a joke or a remark is priceless. They can see me changing too. It's breathtaking. 

Sometimes, after Mystery goes back to her hotel, Kyle and I talk one-on-one for a few minutes or so. We talk about my book and stuff mostly, but every now and again some flirting goes on. It's microscopic, but I can pick it up. 

Oh, my book has changed a lot since I last talked to you. Amy and Gerard are reunited in Queteiopia. They woke up all snuggled together, happy as could be. Amy was lost on how he could be alive, but then Amy's doctor, Mark, came in to check on her. He was relieved to see Gerard there, for he was the only one who could heal her leg. He couldn't quite explain the zigzag in her leg, but he could explain that the angle of the crack was what only let in love to heal it. 

For Gerard, he explained that he was never officially dead on Earth, so he could've gone back. And he ended up doing such. There's a special bracelet he could wear, though, that would certify his death on Earth. At that point, he was in another coma up at his home. Gerard asked how to get such a bracelet (making Amy feel all fluffy inside since he would be giving up his old life) but Mark just said that he would have to do a noble deed. He argued that dying the first time was pretty damn noble, but Mark said it had to be near-death non-death related, since no one could really die in Queteiopia. Without a bracelet, though, they could. 

Mark then left, leaving the happy couple alone. Gerard asked to see her xylophone, so Amy stood (and almost cried from happiness that she could stand) to get the now dusty instrument. Gerard asked of the layer of dust, and Amy explained her depression from when he was gone. Gerard blushed a deep red, and dusted the xylophone to play her the songs he practiced on Earth. While he played, Amy realized how much she loved him, and how content she felt at that exact moment couldn't be described with anything. 

Well, this letter is to someone who broke my heart. You did so one year, one month, one week and one day ago. You see? I don't forget this shit. It was at Eric's funeral when Kyle told me why you were taking it so fucking hard. It smashed my heart like the car smashed Eric. It's funny - people who cheat typically think they won't be caught. 

Oh, karma. Thank you for working your magic on those people. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: I'm so so sorry for not updating yesterday ;_; I was feeling under the weather so I wasn't in the mood for anything =_= I hope you did like this chapter though :3 Please review! **


	21. Judge

_Day 21 - A letter to someone you judged by their first impression_

Dear Jordan, 

Hey dude. How've you been? Well...you've been getting better. I've seen your improvement ever since you got here a few weeks ago. Now that you're getting ready to go...it's saddening in a way. 

This letter's to someone I judged at first impression. As sad it sounds now, I did judge you at first. And in a way, I could tell you did the same for me, with my scars and all. But with you... you looked scary. You had a five o'clock shadow and long scruffy hair. The white they have us wear didn't seem to fit you well, and your body looked unhealthily thin. I couldn't think of anything you could be in there for besides some sort of death related accident. Like maybe what Kenny did to me. After being released from prison, though. 

You didn't talk for about the first week. You just mumbled incoherently. All I knew was that your name was Jordan. And that you were just 17. It made me feel old, quite honestly. Like 23 was the new 73. Anyways, you just sat, and rocked ever so slightly on your bed. I didn't get a look into your eyes until day 5, and I saw an unbearable blankness in them. The blue grey held a cloud, like you were half dead. It was terrifying, so I started talking to you, not expecting much of an answer. I told you about the book I'm writing, and I liked the way you listened. It had you stop rocking and stop mumbling at you intently listened to the plot. 

The ninth day, as I was explaining what was happening in the basement with the four guys, you asked a question. 

"What's going on with Amy?" 

I looked up when I heard your voice. You asked it as if nothing spectacular was happening. You just held your blanket and waited for me to answer. I slowly answered that you don't find out until a few chapters later. You smiled, which was a sight to remember. I then continued on, with more questions surfacing. When I got up to the point I was at, I then asked you a few questions about yourself. 

"Where are you from?" 

"Denver" 

"Can I ask why you're here?" 

"Well...you know that school shooting that happened a few months back?" 

I froze for a second before retracing my memory. I think I had overheard someone speak of it, but I couldn't be sure. 

"Well, either way, I was caught in it. It was my high school. I'm in here for trauma from being held at gunpoint. Plus...witnessing all the death." 

I was heartbroken from the few words you spoke. I didn't want to embrace you, though. People with trauma, I've heard, typically don't like touches. I assumed that as you went on and asked about me. 

Our conversation lasted for a while, and into the night, before you fell asleep. It was the first night you slept though the night since you arrived. You even seemed better in the morning. And ever since then, you've been so sociable around the place. You've befriended nearly everyone in here, and you always encourage to throw parties when people are allowed to leave. I've never seen a friendlier guy. 

It gave me a feeling of pride to know that I helped you. 

Now, since I haven't seen you all day today, here's what's going down in the novel. Gerard needs to think of a way to get his eternal life bracelet so he can assure that he's gonna stay with Amy forever. They brainstormed and tooled around on the xylophone for hours, trying to think of anything he could do. Gerard's mind eventually wandered to Amy's zigzagged leg and Kenji - the man who locked all of them up weeks prior. Gerard asked where he lived, and Amy decided to simply show him instead of telling. With a quick kiss, they dressed in presentable clothing and went out in search of the dreaded Kenji. 

I can't wait to watch your facial expression for this one. 

Especially since I know now you have more than one. 

~Stanley

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><p><strong>AN: Konnichiwa x3 I've been writing school shootings more often :O maybe it's from listening to "Pumped up Kicks" (by Foster the People) too much XD Please review!**


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